My childhood dream was always to be an attorney like my late cousin, Brad. However, like many of us experience, time seemed to slip away so quickly and I found myself pondering the regretful 'what if' later in life. I was a single Mom at the time and in my early 30's--I had definitely missed the bus to becoming an attorney. Or so I thought.
As I discussed my dreams with my now husband, he helped me realize it's never too late to chase a dream or fulfill a calling. I decided that if it was meant to be, God would make a way, and so I began to study for the LSAT. The LSAT is a test that you must pass in order to get into an accredited law school and it is brutal.
After taking the LSAT and not doing as good as I had hoped, I decided to apply to local law schools anyway. I had a decent GPA, a lot of legal work experience, and a killer personal statement, so I went for it! I told myself that God would provide if this is what I'm meant to do—and He did. One door after the other opened. I was accepted to several law schools, excelled in law school, discovered my love for writing, and graduated at the top of my class.
Up until now, enduring 3 years of law school and passing the FL Bar Exam were the most difficult experiences of my life. Sleepless nights and time away from my daughter, so I could make a better life for us, were just a few of the sacrifices made during that season.
I remember telling my daughter, I'm almost done with law school and then Mommy will have more time. Then, I'm almost done with the Bar Exam and then Mommy won't be as busy. Then, I became a new, young lawyer and again, Mommy had to get 3 years of practice under her belt and then I'd be more available. It seemed like it never ended, and time was not waiting on me.
Since being diagnosed with cancer last year, my biggest regret is time spent away from my daughter as I pursued my dream of becoming an attorney. None of it was worth it if I don’t have a lifetime left to spend with her.
Although I can't change the past, my future is His and He’s definitely at work. God has orchestrated my life in such a way so that all of the pieces come together beautifully in my own imperfect way. God has this really cool way of restoring all we have lost. For me, that's time.
"God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he'll have compassion on you; he'll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered." Deuteronomy 30:3
Despite cancer and COVID, this last year around my house has been beautiful. Nothing but time spent together, as we all e-learned and worked from home together. Sure, it's had its challenges, but God has completely restored all of the time I missed out on with my daughter. It's like I've been gifted the ability to be a stay-at-home Mom and I'm forever grateful for that gift.
While this time restored may not look like anything I could have imagined, God has faithfully kept His promise and filled my heart with so many beautiful memories. We may not be able to turn back the hands of time, but God can--and He does.
Love & Sunblock