I've had the honor of participating in Compassion that Compels (CTC) Sister 2 Sister mentorship program, which has been such a therapeutic and beautiful experience. If you're unfamiliar with CTC, please check them out. It's a beautiful non-profit that loves on and blesses thousands of women affected by cancer. CTC has been such a blessing in my life, and I'm forever grateful for the friendships I've developed.
Recently, I was tasked with writing a letter to younger Amanda. It seemed easy enough since I previously wrote a Dear Younger Me blog post consisting of advice I've gathered throughout my life. However, because of the aforementioned blog post, I decided to tackle this assignment from a different angle. As I sat by the river, pen in hand, I began to write without much thinking. In fact, I only had so much time to get this done before meeting with my mentor, so there were no do-overs. This letter tugged on my emotions unexpectedly, and I'm certain healing took place that day. So here it is, my letter to me--Sister 2 Sister.
Dear Amanda,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't know back then what I know now. I'm sorry that I didn't educate you about living a well-balanced life or the importance of protecting you from skin cancer. I'm sorry that I cared too much about what was popular and disregarded your welfare in the process. I'm sorry that I tried to change the beauty of your fair skin instead of embracing God's beautiful creation.
I'm sorry that I allowed anxiety and fear to take control over the trajectory of your life. Instead, I should have leaned on God and allowed him to guide you. His plans are perfect and He is oh so powerful.
Things could have been different. Not perfect, but different. I'm sorry I failed you. The regret could be debilitating, but I won't let it. I promise!
Thankfully, God sent Jesus to die so that we can live. His stripes heal us. His mercies and grace are new each day.
You see, life is beautiful and hard. It's fun and disappointing. It's predictable and full of surprises. It's purposeful and unique. Life is a gift that doesn't come without difficulties and opportunities to get back up.
We'll get there. We'll keep learning and growing into who we are meant to be. And along the way, we will help others do the same simply by following our truth and sharing our testimony.
I forgive you for you knew not what you were doing. It's gonna be okay. God promised!
I love you,
Amanda
P.S. Your fair skin is beautiful.