Updated: Oct 20, 2020
Life feels like a roller coaster sometimes. Lately, most of the time. The highs and lows come barreling at you and sometimes even take your breath away. But what happens in response thereto--and even inbetween--determines how we get through those circumstances. We can choose to worry from being afraid, or we can take a deep breath and have faith that God will see us through. Trusting in God can be easier at times--particularly when things are going as we like. But when things get uncomfortable or difficult, that's when the true test of faith is born. Do you trust God during the storm? Do you still praise Him even when you can't see what He's doing? Or does your trust waver--up and down--depending upon what life is throwing at you?
No new tumors, 2mm in growth.....3mm in shrinkage, 1mm in growth.....a tumor gone, 2mm in growth.....stablized tumor, 1mm in growth.....4mm in shrinkage, but you also have a tumor on your kidney that wasn't first reported by the non-Moffitt radiologist. Talk about a roller coaster! This resembles how my recent appointment went following my first scans post-treatment. I didn't know if I should be crying or rejoicing. I didn't even know what it all meant. After crying for a few days, I picked myself back up and re-committed to having unwavering trust in God. Trust that He is working even when I can't see it. Trust that He is faithful. Trust that His timing is perfect. Trust that He heals and is healing me.
When things do not go as we attempt to plan, it's easy to lose sight of even small victorious moments. To miss the blessings right before our eyes. By focusing on the downs, we diminish the ups and sabotage our perception. It's completely normal and acceptable to feel the lows, but don't forget to release them. Ebb and flow.
My first scans reveal many victories--all of which I celebrate and give glory to God for. No new tumors and shrinkage! God is clearly working and using my Moffitt team and treatment plan as instruments for His divine healing.
I encourage all of you to work towards establishing unshakeable trust in God--you just might move a mountain.
Love & Sunblock